02.16.04
 By
Brook Montagna
Self employment usually begins as an act of self love. You choose
to create your own business in order to do what you love doing, express
your talents and gifts, set your own hours, be creative, reach your
financial goals, and enjoy life more.
But with the commitment to your dream comes immense responsibility,
and you may gradually slip into behaviors, thoughts, and feelings
that look more like self-disregard than self love.
For
example, you may find that you:
- Don't allow yourself adequate time to rest and refresh.
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- Work long hours, skip meals, and cancel social events.
- Ignore your exercise program, meditation, or journaling, because
you can't squeeze them into your busy schedule.
- Set unrealistic expectations for yourself to "do it all".
- Feel guilty when you do take time for yourself because of all
that must be done.
- Blame yourself with negative self talk when your business is
struggling or doesn't give the results you hoped for.
- Relentlessly push yourself to do more, better, or different.
- Forget to acknowledge and celebrate your successes.
Put Self Love Back Into Self Employment!
Acts of self love will sustain you, making the way to your goals easier
and more fun. For long term business growth and sustainability, it
pays to be more like the tortoise than the hare, setting a pace to
stay in the race, while enjoying the journey. Here are 4 aspects of
self love that will help you stay in the race.
1- Acceptance. Accept the fact that you have needs for rest,
relaxation, and good self care. Accept the fact that there are 24
hours in a day, and then set reasonable expectations for yourself
within that reality. Accept mistakes. Accept successes. Accept random
events and a lack of control over some things. Accept the challenges
that come with being bold and courageous. Accept help when needed.
2- Self Care. Write out actions that you know are best for
you in each of the following areas: Health, Spirituality, Relationships,
Environment, Finances, Fun. From what you have written, create a self
care plan that includes such things as diet, exercise, sleep, seeing
a doctor, reading, journaling, meditation, budgeting, saving, financial
advice, time in nature, time with friends, travel, dance, listening
to music, better lighting, eliminate distractions, etc. Drop the guilt
feelings and implement your plan as an act of self love.
3- Commitment. When others take time for themselves to go on
vacation or to a movie or need to study, you cheer them on, and respect
their boundaries. When you want to take time for yourself, you may
feel guilty or have trouble saying no to others' demands. Self love
is setting good boundaries without feeling guilty. Self love is committing
the time and space to stick to your self care plan. Paradoxically,
the consequence of doing this is that you will be stronger and have
more energy to give to others.
4- Compassion. When you feel that you are struggling, or when
things seem to be falling apart and you feel it's up to you to fix
everything, take some time to regain perspective and offer yourself
some comfort and understanding. Mistakes are part of the learning
curve and it helps to remind yourself of your good efforts and accomplishments
up to now. Let yourself off the emotional hook long enough to relax
and refresh so that you have the necessary energy to problem solve
and be creative.
That's self love!
About the Author:
Brook Montagna coaches individuals, partners, and groups to excellence
in their personal and professional lives. Her free newsletter, Flying
Solo, is dedicated to connecting self employed people with resources
and tools for preventing burn out and creating enjoyable success.
www.mindfullifecoach.com
brook@mindfullifecoach.com
760-479-1868
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