By Susan Dunn
Dear Susan: My dilemma – I work many long hours/long days and am presently driving 130 miles RT to work. My Boss requires that I am at work by 0800MT in order to appease my staff (they do not know/nor care that I work 12-14 hours/day). I am used to flex-time and am trying desperately to adapt. Due to traffic, etc., there have been times I have been late but always call. My Boss is concerned about what my employees think or believe about my occasional tardiness.
Background on my employees – three of my in-house employees have been extremely rude and disrespectful towards me – even to the point of talking back and/or screaming at me. When I have spoken to them AND my Boss about it (I have an extremely controlling, Micro Managing Boss due to people who have held my position in the past), it has gone absolutely nowhere. I and one of my other Management employees agree we have NEVER – in our 20+ years in Corporate America, worked for a company which allows such blatant disrespect, bordering on insubordination. My Management employee has also experienced the same rudeness and disrespect, and is even thinking of leaving the company because of it. I do not want to lose this person as this person is a valuable asset to my team.
My response to accountability to my employees is that that are accountable to me – not me to them. As long as MY boss knows I am working the hours I am working and sees the fruits of my labor, I do not see a problem (this has ALWAYS been policy with companies I have worked for in the past). Additionally, if/when I am tardy – I do not believe it should be deducted from my 5 annual personal days allowed for sick days, doctor’s appts., etc.
I will accept whatever constructive criticism you offer, as I would like to stay with this company, but not under the present conditions.
Your assistance is greatly appreciated.
Marianne
Dear Marianne,
You’re welcome. I’m pleased to provide this service. It sounds like you have a big job there, and not much help.
If I’m reading it right, you want to know what you can do about the hours problem, the micro-managing boss, and the disrespectful employees?
THE HOURS PROBLEM
Some years ago, I worked in a law firm. 5 of us were interviewed and assessed the same morning, and the first thing they did was hand us a piece of paper. The first words on it were: “Greetings: Since you have chosen to work in a conservative environment…” It went on to address the strict dress code, the hours, etc. Two of us were hired. A month later, the second one came to me, upset they wouldn’t let her wear pants. I didn’t ‘get’ it. On that sheet of paper, the first thing they stuck in our face, it was written: thou shalt not wear pants (if female) and she had signed it, as had I, now dutifully not wearing pants.
Point #1: She didn’t have a leg to stand on. A deal’s a deal.
Or is it? One of the things I hear people stressing about more all the time, particularly in the multicultural arena, is this issue: Is a contract iron-clad and the end; or is it just the beginning, intended to be negotiated constantly?
Point #2: Your best chance at negotiating anything is when you’re being hired (as the law firm knew), and in today’s economy, we’re sometimes so glad we’ve been hired we ignore things, or gloss over things that are important to us and will cause us misery later on. The “hours” would be one of those things.
After that, you need to jump on it the first time it comes up. Know the legal doctrine of “laches”? It’s based on the principle that if you let it happen, failing to assert rights over time and circumstances, it’s considered consent.
Your chances of convincing your employer to change his (I’ll use ‘he’) position now? Not good. Part of emotional intelligence is reality-testing. Why should your boss change on this? To please you? Is he that kind of guy?
Point #3: The start of the work day is a highly emotional issue. I was in a board meeting once where two people almost came to blows, one of them yelling, “You act like it’s some kind of character flaw if someone works 10 am to 7 pm instead of 8 am to 4 pm.” It polarizes people as much as the left-brained, right-brained thing – “he’s too detail-oriented” v. “she’s too scattered.” Each side thinks their way is right, the way it should be, and the only way it can be. EQ means being able to understand the other person’s point of view. Someone must be (1) able and (2) willing to do this. Is he? Are you?
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About the Author:
(C) Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, brings emotional intelligence to the workplace with individual and executive coaching, workshops, presentations, Internet courses, the EQ Learning Lab and ebooks. Visit her on the web at http://www.susandunn.cc and sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE EQ ezine. Please put "EQ ezine" for the subject line. EQ Alive! - http://www.eqcoach.net - the tools and training you need to coach emotional intelligence, for coaches, managers, therapists, counselors. Classes starting monthly.
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